Eager to ask... kapag may kailangan lang? Ako lang ba ang ganito or can I say na ganito tayo? Eager to seek the Lord and pray kapag may matinding kailangan lang? Lalo na kapag tungkol sa mga bagay na tingin natin hindi natin kaya? Kapag "kaya natin" we head straight to planning or doing.

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I believe the Lord allows these moments when we find ourselves limited so that we’d see the truth that we often forget—that we are limited. For we’re designed to live our lives WITH THE LORD, the limitless lover of our soul, walking by faith in and obedience to our Ultimate Guide Book--The Bible. He leads us to Him so we would find our true delight and security that only He can provide.

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SO AYUN NGA, KWENTO KO LANG... When we were told that the owner of our house needs to sell it asap, I was completely okay with it, thinking that time’s up here and God wants us to move just in time for the 3rd baby to come out by the end of this year. I was even excited! New season eh.

After a week of praying, seeking counsel from our Ninongs about house-buying, etc, our options of directions became clearer. The next step was to search for a house for rent as the immediate solution due to the urgency. Okay lang sakin ang lahat!

But there was an afternoon when I wanted to start searching online for a house for rent. Rouie said don't do it and take my afternoon nap instead. Eh makulit ako. (Wives...read to see the consequence of my non-submission to my husband.) So I did search and found very pricy houses and apartments that are... (uhm... how do I say this...) NOT NICE 😩.  FEARS started creeping in me about moving to a place with no cabinets, gloomy, too small, ugly flooring, mainit, no parking, no place for kids to bike around, unsecured neighborhood...eto pa, na mas mahal pa sa current rent namin! 🥺😣 I was sharing these to Rouie with some teardrops the following day dahil hindi ako nakatulog. I’d blame the preggy hormones na lang, hehe. I should have obeyed my husband. Maybe my eyes & mind would not have been attacked in my unguarded moment.

(DISCLAIMER: Please read. If your house right now fits any of my descriptions above, please, please don’t be offended. Madami na po ako tinirahan sa buhay ko na ganyan po ang description and yet I lived there joyfully with my family. Because the people who make a house a HOME is truly what makes it a home however the house is like.♥️ Sharing my current kaartehan has a point that I’m driving towards lang po.)

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He allows our situation so we'll know & understand His will for us.

So Rouie kept giving me responses that bring hope and build up faith. Gusto kong parehas na lang sana kami ng faith. There’s even grace of a solution to buy this current townhouse but that week we were still seeking God’s answer if He’s saying YES or NO to that option. Huwag tayong sunggab agad. But Rouie’s words were not enough. I could not shake off the fears that already got into me. No positive thinking works and they’re not the true solution.

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I kept reading my Bible morning, afternoon & night, got nothing that spoke to my situation. It was Day 2 of P&F and after all of the crying out, I picked up a book, The Power of A Praying Woman, hoping to hear God through that, and prayed desperately for God to comfort and secure me; to give me a vision of our next home with the assurance that it will even be a better one. Na yung fears ko hindi mangyayari. I wanted to hear of his promises again so I’d be at peace.

Somewhere in the book, this verse got me hooked:

“for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.” - Philippians 2:13

The 2nd chapter of Philippians is about Christ’s humility and the call for us to prove our salvation by showing it as God works in & through us for his good purpose.

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"It is God who works in you...God who works in you... works in you..." Napaisip talaga ko dito ng matindi. I BEGAN REALIZING HOW CONSUMED IN MY OWN FLESH I WAS... Puro mga pangangailangan at gusto ko para sa amin na lang pala ang iniisip ko. You might say those are good but I just felt it in my heart that the Holy Spirit was speaking to me, asking me heart-check questions. I asked what was it that He was making me see in this verse and He was faithful to answer!