HOW do we let them use the gadgets?

 

Yung mga tanong sa kung PAANO kapag ayaw nilang tumigil o nagkaka-tantrums, we are sure that those are NOT a matter of gadget use. Those are matters of discipline, obedience, respect, and authority issues. The use of gadgets is just an object under these greater, deeper topics. We’ll share about discipline, respect, and loving correction on an upcoming blog.  Abangan po. 🙂

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1. We screen what they watch/play/listen to.

I check the entire video/ the game/ the song lyrics, because we want to watch out for exposure on THEMES WE’RE AVOIDING for young minds:

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A) Fright/horror (e.g. Halloween, we don’t want to introduce demonic spirits to our children this early)

 

B) Lying as acceptable (e.g. “Johny Johny? Yes, Papa?” My son was laughing at the thought that the boy lied then the daddy lied about sweets and they all found it funny. We told him we don’t agree with the song because the intention of lying is never funny, it’s sad and hurtful, and cited examples to him of the difference of that with joking.)

 

C) Hurting others as funny (ex. Tom & Jerry, Courage the cowardly dog) we explain to the kids the difference of playing boxing and laughing together vs. hurting someone for your own pleasure at the expense of the other.

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D) Songs that have meaning that go against our values. I know there had been some but I can't remember which ones. I can only remember one example that stuck with me: FROZEN 1. Wait, before you raise your kilay, this is the story:

 

We all love Disney's Frozen in our family so we sing all their songs. My kids LOVE to sing & dance. One day Yuel was saying he wanted to copy Elsa, cos for Elsa there's “no right no wrong, no rules for meeeeee... I’m freeee!” And Yuel insisted that he also wants to be free. Hala sya... what have we done to him? Hehe. So we had a few days of processing with him, explaining Elsa’s mindset at that point in the story that she was in the spirit of abandonment due to her life of living in fear and that she was limited in understanding of what true freedom is. We thank God for that encounter cos we were able to have a Gospel moment and explain about love, rules, and true freedom... to a 3-year-old! Never too young! So we guided him to be more fond of other frozen songs instead. 😅It was a fad so he outgrew them eventually. Songs are powerful values-promoter. They stick to your head effortlessly, kaya nga may LSS eh. Let’s be mindful of what our kids sing...it’s promoting mindsets to them one lyric at a time. 

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Kung may mga paboritong kanta din yung anak nyo na hindi okay sa inyo yung message ng song, I encourage you to gently guide them to be inclined to other songs instead. Wag biglang pagbawalan in fear dahil kapag ganun, fear din ang maipapasa, instead of love. Let's show that we respect their preference yet we have to lovingly lead them to what we believe is best.

 

E) Violence. My son is exposed to violence as we see them in the news wherein they are presented as condemned or disapproved. But violence in games for prizes or leveling up is not okay for us to promote to children. I know that one day my husband and son would have battle games as part of their man-training and bonding but that will be in a season wherein we'd already become confident about the right foundations we've set while they're young.

 

F) Kissing scenes/sexual scenes/young romance, all in the context of outside of marriage. "Do not awaken love till it so desires" (from Songs of Solomon) and what they SEE influences their desires so we want to establish these foundations as early as now while it’s still easy to do so.

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2. We avoid cartoons...(maybe till they're around 10 yrs old?)

Iniiwas din po namin sila sa mga cartoons na kadalasan ay pang matanda naman ang tema. I grew up with Cartoon Network, Disney Channel, and afternoon cartoons on local TV. My take is...there’s nothing good there for my kids at these ages they’re in and they’d see too much of those commercial ads on junk food, toys, and other shows that are inappropriate for them. Maybe when they’re older we’d allow but must still be under our guidance and approval.

 

3. We intentionally pick the ones we want them to watch as additional learning materials.

(See the WHAT section for some of our curated favorites)

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4. We guide them with a schedule.

More details on the "WHEN" section. We use this to set our culture in the house. Na-establish na namin na nobody just turns on the tv whenever they want to watch whatever they want. It serves us for movies, online church activities, music videos for family sound tripping, NBA, Educ shows, and evening news. They know the drill. The words “it’s not gadget time now”, “your time is almost up, last 3 mins left so get ready to end” We don’t say time’s up and take the phone right away. We show them respect and help them give the gadget back thankfully and on the ending time. Btw, experts have repeatedly said that clear, respectful schedules bring so much security to the kids...and sanity to the parents 😂👌🏻